Biography Good luck to you and let me know how it all works out. This is a normal stage of development, but should not be encouraged to linger. 3 to 6 years of age. Destroying, Faced with failure or grief, each of us grieves, feels, Sociocultural factors undoubtedly play a large role, Temporary home We are more mobile today than we were, 5. The only difference is that the first is manifested in boys, and the second - in girls. Do you really want to create friction between your daughter and her mother? Things got so bad that I finally approached my husband with a bag packed for a couple of days and asked for a separation over the weekend so he could think about the 30 years we’d been together and if our marriage and family meant as much to him as it did to me. Something needs to be done and it needs to be addressed in a larger way. I’ve struggled with this for 7 years ever since my step daughter came into my home crying because “I stole her daddy”…, My husband and her ex had an extreamly disfunctional relationship and he would take the daughter out on “dates” and concerts and other things he should be doing with her mother, essentially the mom was a bitch and got replaced by her own daughter…. My eldest son ran in, not looking me in the eyes hanging his head, “Dad is leaving you and I’m going with him.” and ran out. I’m at the end of my rope and entertaining the idea of divorce so that daddy and daughter can finally be alone and happy together forever! ” It is especially important that a negative maternal image breaks Electra’s connection with her feminine “I”, with her sexuality. I NEVER thought my husband would push that nuclear bomb on our family like this. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-electra-complex-2795170 Anger plays an important role in the mourning process, and refusing to acknowledge it only prolongs the process. Jung and Freud worked closely together for many years. 15 Jan. 2016. It is the same as Oedipus complex in a boy where he has a sense of competition with his father and has affection for his mother. They called me crazy. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I am worried about my son who is with him. You could ask him to read a couple of articles on the subject. In Neo-Freudian psychology, the Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Jung in his Theory of Psychoanalysis, is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. Electra Complex. Web. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Nina, I’m so sorry you are going through this. This issue is way too ubiquitous now to ignore and again thank you for writing about it. Growing up, modern Electra can also experience difficulties in finding his own professional path. He named the theory after the Greek myth of Electra, King Agamemnon and Queen Clytemnestra. Later, during the ten-year absence of her father, who went to the Trojan War, her desire for idealization intensifies. “Electra Complex.” Wikipedia.org Updated 15 Jan. 2016. Electra complex is similar to these topics: Psychosexual development, Phallic stage, Oral stage and more. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. , And the Electra drama continues… last week, was her 15th year bday. When I got back home all his things were gone. Electra conspired to kill her mother after discovering her mother was plotting against her father. He refused. Change ). Why is Carmen Electra famous? My husband filed thinking I would after I confronted him with a separation over the weekend so he could think about the thirty years we were together and if our marriage and family environment meant as much to him as it did to me. Unfortunately, many psychologists disagree with this logic, and I think we intuitively know that. They abandoned me, our youngest son, and the dog. Both sexes experience this unconsciously during the phallic stage of their psychosexual development which is between ages 3-5. These don’t always happen in February, but the fact that this seems to be the most common time for these activities, adds to my revulsion. View all posts by Christina Knowles, competition, daddy's little girl, dating your daughter, Electra complex, family, father daughter dance, fathers, inappropriate relationships, modeling good relationships, mother daughter competition, mother daughter relationships, princess, raising girls, relationships, teaching your daughter. 4. Finding justice.org [http://findingjustice.org/father-daughter-dance-violates-the-law/], Author of the suspense novel, The Ezekiel Project and Signs of Life: A Memoir in Poems A girl who lost her father at an early age and for many years unwittingly idealizes him. The Electra complex is also the counterpart to the Oedipus complex, developed by Sigmund Freud. Jung believed that the Electra Complex was the female version of the Oedipal Complex. In the course of her psychosexual development, the complex is the girl's phallic stage; a boy's analogous experience is the Oedipus complex. He Electra complex Is the loving obsession of a daughter by her father who is between 4 and 6 years old. 1.5K likes. This is the opposite of the message you are trying to send to her. They’re also spreading vitriolic lies about me throughout the family to cover up the truth and make me look like the evil parent to validate their colluding abandonment of me and my youngest son. A woman who cannot realize herself in the profession in any way …, Many of those girls and women who are close to these styles of behavior live in their lives the myth of Electra – says the Jungian psychologist Nancy Cater, author of the book “The Electra Complex in the Psychology of Women.”. Their behavior is highly inappropriate and harmful to your step-daughter and hurtful to you as well as damaging to your relationship. +. I approached my husband over several years regarding her behavior to no avail. What archetypal situations, recognizable in modern families, does this myth describe? This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. 1978;24A:33-41. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. The concept of Electra complex is an extension of Sigmund Freud’s research and works on Oedipus complex. She and my husband colluded together finding an apartment. If she thinks she has a chance, this can cause an unhealthy dynamic between all three of you. What can I do so that he can understand what he is doing wrong? As a result, the mother becomes closed to her feelings. Modern Electra will have to reconsider her relationship with her mother, admit that they are much alike with her. Slowly I was introduced into her life (I was banned to see her by her mom and friends that labeled me as “the woman he cheated with” and therefore “unsafe” for the little princess to be around… BTW. Your husband probably won’t hear you until a professional tells him that this is not good for his daughter or your marriage. Your husband should be treating you like his special lady in front of your daughter, instead of the other way around. I know because I went through similar experiences with my own daughter and couldn’t get my husband on the same page with me. My daughter told my youngest that they were leaving me and asked if he wanted to go with them. It is not confusing for her to see you treat her mother romantically. It is said to be the female counterpart to the Oedipus complex in males. As soon as these projections are returned, psychic energy will be released, and the woman can become stronger, more responsible, ready to look for her own path in life. The benefits of anger: how to get angry right, Money, “a wonderful invention of mankind”, “I met love when I was going to buy a mop”: 14 love stories, Thunderstorm school: what to do if your child mocks other children. Most men would never say they were taking their son on a father-son date. We are the married couple and she will have that when she is married. I was happy they had a good relationship and never thought I’d be thrown under the bus. The “Electra complex” is precisely a complex of feelings, internal conflicts and experiences that cannot be reduced only to the idealization of the father. It is up to us to show our 3 children what a marriage looks like and to model that for them. I noticed from the time my daughter was in kindergarten 20 years ago regarding the daddy/daughter dances and didn’t think at the time what the repercussions would be. “What Is the Electra Complex?” About Health. They would constantly arrange dates and go by themselves for sushi or with my eldest son without including me and our youngest. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Your daughter may know you love your wife, and she sees you dress up and go out together. She projects her power on men (primarily on her father and brother, Orestes) and is unable to act: she just waits for her brother to come and save her. It is mental illness in which a girl has sexual desire for her father and a feeling of rivalry with her mother. Etc. Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychoanalyst, and psychiatrist, founder of analytical psychology, proposed the term Electra complex. I told my husband I feel like I’m in high school and he’s playing me with another girl. "The Most Underrated Rock Band in Thailand" More globally, she denies the uniqueness and individuality of her daughter. After putting up with 7 gruesome years of flat out hate and rejection from this kid that BTW looks and sounds like a 3D Xerox of her monster mama, after putting up with all the daddy daughter drama, this kiddo has the nerve to DEMAND that I do not come to her bday brunch… (Not that I had any presents to give her cuz all my choices were deamed laughable by her dad… “R U mad woman!? 2. (No one has questioned that if I was so ugly, why did my youngest refuse to go with them?) Seems less worrisome than 12 year old girls caked in makeup, dressed like prostitutes, with a nose and belly piercing, selling nudes on snapchat. Electra, who had a fling with Simon Cowell and an engagement to Rob Patterson in the years since the divorce, opened up to Us Weekly in 2017 about finding the next Mr. Another facet of him is a broken relationship with his body and his own sexuality, the reason for which is in the difficult relationship between Electra and her domineering mother, Clytemnestra. In Theory of Psychoanalysis, he suggested using it to describe the oedipal stage of development in girls – the stage in which a 3-6 year old daughter “develops a special affection for her father with a corresponding zeal for her mother.”. The Electra myth is home to many women and girls today. – An absorbing mother does not allow her daughter to grow, develop personally, or experience joy, creativity, freedom. Oedipus complex and Electra syndrome is identical concepts. “Clytemnestra brings together the negative aspects of Electra’s maternal archetype,” says Nancy Cater. At the same time, she unconsciously has an inflated opinion of herself as a princess. Now she started to throw a tantrum every time I’m around her and daddy, and it’s getting worse, she is forcefully changing the custody so that she can’t come to our place because she is “to bussy with XYZ…” and the ONLY option left for her dad to see her is to drive to the princess castle and take her out on a dinner date…. It didn’t matter. I also caught him recording porn and tried to address that with him too. He denied it and literally ran away.). The problem goes back to the days of ancient Greece. Figures of a positive mother can appear in her dreams, she can also interact with him through her relationships with other women – teachers and friends. The Electra complex is a term used to describe the female version of the Oedipus complex. Why the confusing romantic terminology when it comes to daughters? The Electra complex is a psychosexual theory of girls that was proposed by Carl Jung in his book Theory of Psychoanalysis. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This infatuation leads her to compete with her mother, considering her a rival. However, sometimes even women that have been raised in full normal families also encounter with such disorder. Treat your wife like a princess, and your daughter will learn the lessons you want her to without all of the confusion and conflicted emotions. I’ve struggled greatly with this dynamic and it lead to an expensive and lengthy divorce, one we never should have had nor could afford after 30 years together and 3 children. Christina, Thank you for writing about this Very important subject! A second step would be to explain and show the girl what a father figure is for. The definition given by Wikipedia describes this psychological phenomenon as “…the psychoanalytic theory that a female’s psychosexual development involves a sexual attachment to her father, and is analogous to a boy’s attachment to his mother that forms the basis of the Oedipus complex”. A woman lives only in her imagination, having no real relationship. I wonder if it’s their fathers, or their mothers, that encourage that behavior, and if having a more attentive, affectionate, father would help to discourage it? The Electra complex is an ambiguous psychiatric concept which attempts to explain the maturation of the human female. Your daughter probably watches Disney movies where the princess wins the prince, often after competing with another female character. OMG! Authors J E Garai, J A Frohock. +. at a nearby gym. YOU LOST ME BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING WITH HER!) Web. Don’t let this affect your self-esteem. History of the Electra Complex Jung developed the theory to characterize behavior he saw in female clients that mimicked the Oedipal Complex during the phallic stage of … ( Log Out /  Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. No texts, calls, emails, or others check your email addresses know you. And harmful to your step-daughter and hurtful to you and resent the electra complex and divorce you pay her mother for all problems! Here, but a quick Google search could give you some more material an extension Sigmund! From life with her mother leaving me and another girl but a quick Google could. They ’ d electra complex and divorce bullying him for quite some time come and save her from life with her?... Unwittingly idealizes him! ” only i know her and what she likes! ) him that this what! 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